New
by ShiningDay
Summary: After centuries off loneliness, I was about to create a company, after I’d been indecisive about that for decades…' This is a detailed story of Edwards' first year as a newborn vampire. In case rated T.
1. Chapter 1: Change

_**New**_

_**Chapter**__** 1: **__**Change**_

_**CarlislePOV**_

_**Chicago**__**, September 1918**_

This was so frustrating. I had to sit here, in my house the whole day, hiding from the sun and pretending to be sleeping. Out there were peoples in need, suffering in the horrible disease, and I was sitting here, me, the one doctor who didn't need to rest. After over 250 years as a vampire I was used to stay indoors during the day, but now it felt like betrayal against all the humans who needed me.

Every ticking second I grew more and more impatient. Every ticking second there was someone dying. The sun was crawling across the sky. Pacing restlessly inside my house didn't help at all, and I felt like I could hit my head on the wall. But that action would only break the wall.

Finally, finally the sun was setting down. I jumped out of my window and started running at full speed towards the hospital where I worked. Near the hospital I slowed to human speed, still running quite fast, and bursted through the door. A tired laugh stopped me. My colleague, Doctor Johnson, had just been leaving, when I'd nearly crushed him against the wall in my hurry.

''You seem to wish that you could be working all day long.'' He said, putting a hand to my shoulder.  
''Yes, I do.'' I answered. He laughed again.  
''Unfortunately that's not possible. Everybody needs their sleep. Well, I'm going home now. Good night, Dr. Cullen.'' I wished him goodnight and rushed to my little locker to change on my doctors' coat. Then I went to wash my hands. It was very hard to keep up my human charade, when I wanted to move as fast as I really could.

I left quickly to see the patients who were mending, there weren't many of them. Then I headed to see the worst cases. On my way I had to walk through the front lobby. There was a chaos. There were sick peoples lying on the floor, relatives supporting their loved ones while there was no free pair of hands to take care of them. The front door never closed, always was someone coming in, but rarely leaving. I tried to hurry through the chaotic hall, but suddenly there was a warm hand grabbing my arm.

''Please, help my son, he's dying, he's dying…'' A young woman was holding a little boy in her arms, tears flowing in her feverish cheeks; boy was coughing and sweating because of high fever. I saw that there was no chance of survival to the poor boy and I felt horrible for that young mother. I reached for a passing nurse, and ordered her to take the mother and boy to the first free spot she saw. There was always a free place to someone, because, though we were trying our best, every minute somebody died to this terrifying disease.

I rushed through the section meant for worst cases; I kept changing cold bandages to their flaming foreheads, giving medicine and occasionally holding a hand. They did not notice my hands coldness, because of the fever. Everything felt cold to them.

In the far end of the section I spotted a woman hovering over a bed. She obviously wasn't nurse. As I approached, I saw a man lying in that bed. He was unconscious, coughing blood and his fever was running high. His heart fluttered miserably. It was clear he was dying. The woman didn't pay any attention to me, but kept wiping the blood away from his mouth. ''Edward, Edward…'' She muttered to herself.

''Excuse me, madam, please let me do that.'' I said politely, pushing her gently back to her own bed and replacing her hands, wiping the blood away. She was clearly very ill herself, her emerald green eyes gleaming with high fever. But still she was trying to nurse her husband. What a brave woman. She did not stay in her bed, but moved to another, where was lying a teenage boy; obviously her son. He was sleeping restlessly, but when his mothers' fingers touched his cheek, he startled awake. His eyes were as green as his mothers', full off concern and love directed towards his mother.

''Mom, you should rest…'' His sentence stopped abruptly when he had to cough. His mother ignored the request, changed the cold bandage to his forehead and tried to soothe him: ''I'm okay, my precious Edward…'' I noticed that the man and boy had same first name. But as she said those words, she swayed unsteadily on her feet. I grabbed her arm before she could fall, and guided her back to bed. ''Madam, your son is right. You should rest.'' Though she had pretty high fever, she snapped back to me:

''Don't call me 'madam', my name is Elizabeth Masen, and I cannot rest, because no one else is taking care off my son and husband!'' I was bewildered, this woman, Elizabeth, honestly was very, very brave. ''Well, Elizabeth, at least try to rest, I'll come check on you soon again.'' I told her, and started walking away; I needed to check on others, too. She stayed in her bed obediently, but in the minute she thought I couldn't see her anymore, she went back to nurse her family. I sighed heavily. She was weakening her own survival chances. Then I needed to concentrate on other patients, but a picture of that family hovered in the back of my mind the whole time.

_____________

When I arrived to the hospital next evening, I went straight to the Masen-family. I'd grown attached – which was dangerous – but I wanted to check on them now because I hadn't had any time last night though I had promised. Now I felt guilty about my ignorance. Sun was just setting down when I arrived to their sickbeds. This time, Edward Senior wasn't there anymore and Elizabeth was lying in her bed instead of nursing her son. She had clearly taken a bad turn. Fever was running out of control and her body couldn't fight anymore. Her son, Edward, looked even worse. I supposed he would go first.

As I was changing a new cold bandage to Elizabeths' forehead, she glared at me. Suddenly, she croaked to me in a hoarse voice: ''Save him!'' I immediately understood that she meant her son. ''I'll do everything in my power.'' I promised her, and took her small hand. She didn't flinch at the coldness, probably she was unable to feel how unnaturally cold it exactly was; instead she squeezed my hand hard and looked at me so sternly that I wondered if she still can pull through this crisis.

''You must…You must do everything in **your** power. What others cannot do, that is what you must do for my Edward.'' I stared at her, frightened. Did she know my secret?

Elizabeths' head fall against her pillow, she had lost consciousness. I sat there beside her bed, listening to her heartbeat and pondering. How could she know what I am? How could she want that for her son? I watched Edwards' face, and albeit it was strained with pain, he was still beautiful. I remembered his concern about his mother. He has a very kind soul. A soul that was worth saving. There was something pure in him. He was that kind of a boy that I would like to have. As I was thinking my decision, his mother took few unsteady breaths; her heart fluttered and beat faintly one more time. I glanced at her sadly. Though the death had taken her, her face was still pained, not in peace at all. Only one hour had passed.

My eyes darted between Elizabeth and Edward. Edwards' breathing was difficult and he groaned in pain. It was clear he had only hours left, if not minutes. He was alone in the world. He was dying. After centuries off loneliness, I was about to create a company, after I'd been indecisive about that for decades…But at that point, I wasn't thinking anymore. I wheeled his mother to morgue first and then returned to him. I briefly checked his heartbeat and breathing, then glanced around me. I started wheeling him towards morgue, a little faster than should have been possible. No doctor or nurse stopped me; no-one had enough time to notice that Edward was still breathing.

To my relief the morgue was empty, of the living at least. I took Edward in my arms, and escaped through the back door. When I was outside, I jumped to the first building roof and carried him across the rooftops to my house, running at full speed.

During the run, Edward started squirming and groaning in my arms, but couldn't reach the consciousness. Inside my house I settled him to my bed, which was of course only façade.

I backed away few steps, thinking hard. I've never exactly considered how I would do this. The horrible night, when I was changed, centuries ago, was clear in my mind. But I wasn't sure, was the trick my venom, or wounds? Edward groaned again and seemed to be very uncomfortable. For a moment I disliked myself, because I was about to make him even more uncomfortable…But I pushed that thought away and took a hesitant step closer to him.

Then I decided. I leaned closer to his exposed neck, veins standing out because of the pain he was suffering. I sank my venom-covered teeth in his throat. Edwards' blood flooded to my mouth and venom replaced it. I licked the wound I'd just created, my venom shutting it. Then I leaned close to him again, re-creating the wounds I had gotten that night.

Edward was gasping in surprise, his eyes flashed wide open. He wasn't conscious enough to scream yet, but he twitched and squirmed while gasping more air. His eyes fluttered shut. His heart was pounding fiercely in his chest. Changing_._

_____________________________________________________

_**A/N: Well, here goes :) Hope you liked this, reviews are appreciated. Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer and do not own Twilight. And don't sue me because few sentences in the story are from New Moon.  
**_


	2. Chapter 2: Agony

_**Chapter 2: Agony**_

_**EdwardPOV**_

_**Chicago, September 1918**_

''Edward, don't start this again! You're too young to go, and there are plenty of others…''  
''Yes, I start this again, because you don't UNDERSTAND! There aren't plenty of others, and I want to go, I need to go to defend my country…!'' We were both standing, my hands were shaking in rage and my mothers face was deep red with anger. This situation had become very familiar during past few months. But this time was probably the worst we ever have had. My father was there, too, but he was sitting by the table and looking somehow miserable. This behaviour only increased my level of anger, because usually he was the one who was arguing back to me. Damn, he should be the lawyer! Why was he just sitting there…?  
''Don't you dare to shout at me! Go to your room, now!'' I stared back at my mother, bewildered.  
I was 17 years old, nearly legal adult, and she ordered me to go to my room? I decided this argument wasn't getting us nowhere tonight, so I stomped away angrily, to my room, and collapsed to my bed. My head was hurting.

My mothers' refusal was frustrating. I wanted to be a soldier, to defend my country when it needed me, but she wouldn't let me! She constantly reminded me of my age, but I knew I didn't look like 17 year old. It would be easy to just tell them I'm eighteen, and they would gladly take me in. My mother knew that just well, and because of that knowledge she'd nearly locked me inside the house, only releasing me to go for my piano class next door. I stood up, and walked to my piano. It was painted white, and it was also very old. It had been my grandmothers' piano. I loved it, and I loved to play with it. The music sounded different, more beautiful than with any other piano. I sat down and pressed few keys down, but when it echoed in my head nastily, I grimaced and left back for my bed. These arguments with my parents always caused me headache.  
____________

When I woke up next morning, there was still a faint ache in my head, but I ignored it. I wasn't angry anymore and I felt a spasm of guilt about my bad behaviour last night. I shouldn't have been so harsh. But I wasn't going to apologise, I was the one who were right…  
My mother wasn't downstairs yet, and I was little confused about that fact. Usually she woke up early and there was a ready breakfast waiting for me. Maybe she was still angry…  
I didn't let it bother me, but arranged my own breakfast and left for my piano class shortly after.  
Mrs. Reed was already waiting for me. She'd been my teacher since I was ten years old, and we were very close friends, though she was now 71. She smiled at me, and I smiled back. Then she suddenly looked very concerned. I knew what was coming next. Are you okay…I sighed.

''Are you okay, Edward dear? You look sad.'' She said and came closer to put her hand to my shoulder. She needed to reach up; I was so tall compared to her tiny appearance.  
''Yes, I'm alright. We were just having another argument last night…'' She instantly understood what I was talking about. She hadn't said a word about my plans to join the army, but somehow I knew that she didn't want me to go.  
''Oh, I see. Well, let's start now. Did you practise that song I gave you last time?''  
''Yes, ma'am.'' I said and tried to show a happier smile.

I waved my teacher goodbye and headed back to my house. The day was very hot, not even a lightest breeze cooling the air. That fact didn't help me with my headache. This was weird; usually it didn't last so long. I walked slowly toward the house, when I stopped cold. Right there in our garage was my father's car. This was out of character. Why would he be home so early? At the first place, has he ever even left the house? I hadn't paid any attention, but just expected he would be gone. As this concerning realisation hit, I sprinted inside and straight upstairs. I paused for a second to my parents' room door to catch my breath and then knocked quietly. I waited for an answer, but there was nothing, only silence.

Against all the good manners my mother had taught me, I opened the door and peeked in. They were both there, my father lying in bed and my mother kneeled beside him. She stared at my father, not seeming to notice my appearance. But what really got me scared, was my father. The way he looked. He was pale, sweaty and coughing, burning up with fever.  
At first I just stared, eyes widening. I felt like choking. Only yesterday he had been working just normally, taking care of his precious car and joking with me, until I had ruined that all by starting the all too familiar fight. How could he be so sick already?

''Mom, what---'' I was unable to finish the sentence. At the same time my own head throbbed, but I ignored it. My mom opened her mouth to speak, but her voice was weak and so low whisper that I barely heard her.  
''Edward, please go to Dr. Henderson's office and ask something to this fever. And please ask him to stop by later, will you?''  
''Yes.'' I managed to choke out, and then I stumbled my way out off the house and started running along the street. I was a very fast runner. I was part of a sport team, and fastest of our group. I kept running and my headache was all but forgotten.

The doctors' office was only half a mile from our home, so I arrived there pretty fast. I knocked at the door and after a short moment an old lady opened the door. I started to speak, to ask where the doctor was, but she started talking first.  
''Dr. Henderson is not here. He's at the hospital, every available doctor is there. There's an epidemic, don't you know?'' I was not listening anymore. At the moment she'd said that all the doctors' are at hospital, I had turned on my heels and started running back to home.

Sweat ran down my back and my t-shirt was all wet when I reached home. I dashed straight inside and up to my parents' room, not bothering to knock.  
''Mother, we need to take him to the hospital.'' I said simply, without any further explanation.  
She nodded, and suddenly there was life in her eyes again.  
''Bring your father down, I'll go get the car.'' She told me. Now was my turn to nod.  
She disappeared downstairs, and I went to lift my beloved father out off the bed. Though I was strong to my age, it was still difficult. He was a heavy man, and I was weakened by the long run.  
With the sheer willpower I managed to drag him downstairs and to the waiting car. I slumped against the bench as my mother sped away toward the hospital. I remembered I had been jealous that she got to drive the car, but I hadn't been allowed. At this moment I was only happy about that fact. My head hurt so badly.

It did not take very long to drive to the hospital. All the streets were nearly empty. When the car stopped in front of the hospital, we understood why. It seemed like everyone were there. There was a constant flow of people going inside to the hospital, but barely anyone coming out.  
We walked in with all the others. The front lobby was mere chaos. There were people lying on the floor, other people supporting their relatives, nurses and doctors running through it all.  
That sight didn't stop my mother. She weaved through the crowd, leaving me behind. I saw that she managed to grab one passing doctor by his arm and started to bring him with her. I stood there, frozen in place, unable to move. My fathers' weight felt unbearable heavy…  
____________

When I opened my eyes next time, it was dark. I realized I was lying in a bed. But how, when…?  
I couldn't remember. The last thing I could remember was about my mothers' hands holding me upright, my fathers' weight gone. I tried to sit up and look around, but my head swirled and I collapsed back. Then there was a hand, caressing my forehead and cheeks. I glanced up. It was my mother.

''Mom, what…'' My voice was only a whisper, so I tried to clear my throat. It hurt, and caused me to cough.  
''Here, take a little water.'' My mother said nothing else, but there was audible worry in her quiet voice. I obeyed her gladly. My throat felt like fire was burning its way up.  
''Mom, what happened?'' I managed to ask after I had had some moisture in my parched throat.  
''You collapsed right there to my arms. That friendly doctor took your father as I supported you. He led us here. Oh, Edward, I was so worried when you didn't regain consciousness. I'm so glad to see you finally awake.'' I listened to her explanation, observing her at the same time. There was a feverish gleam in her green eyes.

''Where's father? Are you okay?'' I croaked to her.  
''I'm alright, dear. Your father is right next to you.'' The first part was a clearly a lie, but I didn't comment. I turned my head and saw my father lying in a bed next to mine. He looked very bad.  
''He's going to die, is he?'' As I said these words, I instantly knew they were true, but I also knew my mother would try to lie to me. During my short life I've never been fooled before, so I wondered why she still bothered to even try. I saw it in peoples face when they tried to lie. It was obvious. It always had been.  
''He is not. He's going to fine, like you are too.'' I've guessed right. But I didn't have any energy left for arguing back. And that would only make her sad. I closed my eyes again, and let the sleep get me.

_There was only pain, horrible, unbearable pain. Everywhere around me was only pain. I walked in a white aisle, whiter than anything I've never seen before. The aisle ended, and there was a new row of beds in a straight line. But the beds were empty, all but one. I walked forward to see who was lying there, curious. I stopped in horror when I realized who it was. It was me, myself, lying __there; white and unmoving like a corpse. I was absolutely terrified, and wanted to escape from the horrifying sight. But I couldn't move. It felt like my foot had been glued to the floor. There was a bright light coming closer to me. Then I could feel something new, a soft touch caressing my cheek. But there was no hand…_

I startled awake from my dream, still frightened. My heart was pounding fiercely. It was still quite dark. How long had I slept? Then I noticed, what exactly had awoken me. My mothers' hands were there again. She looked bad; her fever had clearly gotten higher.  
''Mom, you should rest…'' I was about the tell her that I would be okay without her weakening her own condition, but my sentence was interrupted, because I had to cough. She ignored me, and put a cold bandage to my flaming forehead. It felt good. I slumped back to my pillow.  
''I'm okay, my precious Edward…'' She said, but swayed on her feet. She was clearly lying, again.  
She didn't fall, there were the whitest hands I've never seen before supporting her. They were as white as the aisle in my dream…I couldn't concentrate. Sleep was taking over me again. Far, far away was a voice saying something I barely could hear.  
''Madam, your son is right. You should------'' Then I lost the battle against unconsciousness.

_This was the same again. I walked down the aisle, and saw the row of beds. Though I knew now what to expect, it was still terrifying. __I stared at myself, waiting something to wake me up. I knew I was dreaming. But then the dream changed. There was that bright light again, but this time it reached me, and swallowed the whole scene. I found myself standing outside of the hospital. It was dark, moonless night. But there was only silence with me. I was alone. Where was everybody? Where was my mother or my father? The loneliness hurt. It hurt so much that I curled up in a ball and groaned in pain. Please, someone wake me up…_

Then there was a new change. It felt like I was captured by cold iron bars, then I was clearly moving. The scene blurred around me. Was this dream or reality? I wasn't sure. But I was sure that the iron bars felt very uncomfortable, so I tried to squirm free from them. Nothing happened.  
After a moment the iron bars disappeared, and I could see clearly again. It seemed that I was back in hospital, lying in my bed. I must be dreaming, I decided, because I could see the bright light approaching me, again. Did this dream never end? I did not like it at all.  
The light came closer and closer. It swallowed me again, but this time it hurt. I gasped in surprise, tried to get away from the pain in my throat, my chest, arms, legs, everywhere…

I screamed. This hurt so much. It felt like I was burning from inside. What is this pain? Where am I? The fire burned me and it was so horrible…  
''Please kill me, please, ANYONE!''  
I screamed again. There was a quiet voice, but I couldn't make the sense of the words through my screaming and shrieking.

Sometimes I was able to concentrate, sometimes not. There was a blond-haired man beside me, and he was apologising a lot. I couldn't see the reason, why he was doing so. It was not his fault, this pain…I screeched again. And he apologised.  
There was also something else distracting me, a low humming in my head. Sometimes I could separate words through that hum. Most of the words were apologies in some form, and I was having a hard time to separate the humming apologies and apologies which were said aloud. Then there was one word, what confused me most. _Newborn…_ And what was this strange hum?

Then the pain changed. It faded from my fingers and toes, but got hotter in my racing heart.  
And the hum changed, too. I started to hear more proper sentences through it.  
_I must have done something wrong. Is this supposed to---  
_I couldn't understand the meaning.  
The pain got hotter and hotter in my heart while fading away from my arms and legs. I wasn't able to concentrate on anything else now.  
Then there was a point, when only my heart was burning. It was the worst moment. I screamed once more. Then my heart fell silent. The pain was gone. Was I dead?  
I opened my eyes, and the world wasn't the same anymore.  
__________________________________________________________________________

_**A/N: This was a hard chapter and I'm sorry it took quite a while to update. But I wish I succeeded**_ _**with my EdwardPOV. Please, tell me your opinion and review!  
My playlist during writing this one: A lot of Enya and few times the Twilight movie soundtrack :)**_

_**Ps. I wanted to clarify one thing at the chapter: The bright light in Edwards dream is Carlisle.**__  
_


	3. Chapter 3: Newborn

_**Chapter 3**__**: Newborn**_

_**EdwardPOV**_

_**Chicago, September 1918**_

I stared. I couldn't stop. Everything was new. The colours, the light, everything was all new. And I could hear so much. There was cars driving down on the streets, there was music, breathing, heartbeats…Wait. My heart had stopped, I realized. But…I was still there…alive or sort of alive at least. How can this be? What am I? Why…Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted. A hand touched my shoulder carefully, but still I drew in a shocked breath, startled.

Millions of scents attacked me. Those made my throat burn very uncomfortably. And another uncomfortable thing was going on in my head. It felt like there was dozens of people speaking at the same time. In. My. Head. Am I crazy? What had happened to me?  
Only one small second had passed. Only then I fully noticed that the blond man was still there. It was his hand which was on my shoulder. He was watching me intently, even smiling a little. I was just about to ask him, what was all this, but he started talking first.

''Hello, Edward, my name is Carlisle. Please let me explain…''  
Then my concentration to his words was stolen away, when one of the voices in my head became clearer. I listened to it, instead of Carlisle.  
_~He looks to be all right, but frightened. I should explain him, but how to tell him he's a newborn vampire without scaring him even more...? This is complicated, I hope he'll listen to me…~  
_My eyes widened in horror because of the information the voice gave me.

''A newborn vampire?!'' I screamed straight to Carlisle's face. Then my frightened expression changed to a very confused one, because my voice was not my voice anymore. As if someone else had talked. And the man – Carlisle, right, looked even more confused. Even the stupid, bizarre voice in my head sounded confused.  
_~How can he know? But now there is even more reason to explain…_~  
And then he started to talk. The exact same words were echoed in my head, as he spoke.

''Edward, please listen to me first. Yes, you are a vampire, and I am too. I was the one who changed you. You were dying. But vampires aren't like the stories tell…''

He explained me everything. I listened to both him and the voice. The voice was fulfilling his story, because there had started to be pictures with the words. And as I was listening his explanation, I understood, what 'the voice' was. It wasn't 'the voice', it was _his_ voice. I was able to hear thoughts. But how? Though Carlisle's explanation had been thorough, he hadn't said anything about hearing peoples thoughts. Could he hear me, too? No, obviously it was just me, because he wasn't responding to my thoughts.

''Carlisle?''  
''Yes?'' _~Yes?_~  
He said and thought at the same time. It was very confusing. And all the other voices were distracting me._  
~What's for dinner today…~  
~I wonder…~  
_I tried to get rid of the distracting voices by shaking my head. It didn't work, and Carlisle looked confused. Confused, confused, confused! All of this is too confusing! I hate to be confused…

''I have a question.''  
I finally managed to say through all the voices and my own CONFUSED thoughts. Infuriating…  
_~Of course_ _he has questions…~ _Carlisle thought.  
''You can ask me anything.'' He said.  
I swallowed something down my throat, and it hurt. I swallowed one more time, and tried to concentrate on Carlisle's golden eyes. It helped a little.

''I…I…There is…'' I stammered miserably. I tried to collect myself by breathing deep. That was a very bad idea. My throat flared and my hand instinctively rose to cover it, trying to soothe the pain.  
_~Ah, he's wondering about the pain in his throat. I forget it altogether. I should take him hunting as soon as possible…~  
_No, no, no…He understood all wrong…I wasn't going to ask about that. Well, not yet. But I had no time to correct him. He was already speaking, and I decided to ask my question later.  
_  
_''A burn in your throat? Don't worry; it'll be much better after you've hunted.''  
_~I've doomed him into an eternal pain…But I'm still not sorry about changing him…I wonder if he wants to stay with me. I would enjoy his company so much…But now is not the right time to ask…~  
_If I want to stay with him? Of course I do, I don't know anything about this life. Even a single thought about being alone in this new world scared me. And then I made a big mistake, according to my decision about telling him later. I spoke my thoughts aloud.

''Of course I want to stay with you. I don't know anything about this life.''  
Carlisle was clearly taken aback, but at the same time he looked delighted. It was a weird expression, and I laughed a little. I stopped when the voice came out all wrong. My voice was _too_ beautiful. It was almost sickeningly sweet. I didn't like it at all. Then Carlisle recovered from the surprise.

''Edward…?'' His sentence trailed off. Though he was silent, his thoughts weren't silent at all.  
_~He just…What did he just? I cannot understand…~  
_''Carlisle...I think…I think I can hear thoughts. And I just answered your thoughts…I was about to ask it. How is it possible? Is this in common amongst vampires?'' I stopped my flood of questions and waited for him to answer. He remained silent. He looked…Shocked.  
_~(silence)~  
_Okay, he looked very shocked. I was about to stand up from the bed I was sitting, and do _something. _Well, I didn't know what something, but something. Before I moved, he collected himself, and _smiled. _Now it was my turn to be taken aback. Why was he smiling?

''You're gifted, Edward. Other vampires do have gifts, but each one is unique. I've never met a vampire with a gift like yours. Reading minds from a distance. Aro, the Volturi leader, like I just told you, can read every thought your mind had ever held, but he need to touch you while doing this. But I don't know how does it work. Well, actually I have a theory…But that can wait. You need to hunt.''  
I had lifted my hand once again to soothe my sore throat, and he noticed. Hunting…I shivered involuntary to the word.

''I don't want to kill humans.'' I said to him. And he smiled again. In his thoughts I saw pictures of animals. There were bears, deers, wolves and others. And he was hunting those. My eyes widened.  
''You hunt animals? Really? And you can live amongst humans?''  
''Yes. I'll tell you my story later. And yes, I can live with humans without a problem. I'm a doctor.''  
I just nodded to his words. It was a great relief to hear, that I could live without killing anybody.  
''Shall we go?'' Carlisle was standing by the door. I rose from the bed, and walked over to him.  
Oh, how graceful I was! I walked back to the bed and again to the door. So fast and still balanced…After a moment Carlisle laughed at me. I turned around and smiled at him. Only a little smile. Then I thought something.

''How fast I can run?'' I asked. I had been very fast before and I wanted to test myself now.  
''Well, lets go and see. In the nearby forest you can run as fast as you can.''  
Carlisle lead me outside and to his car. I stopped to take a look at it. It was just gorgeous. The newest model of Ford. It had four doors and an electric start-up. I knew the electric start-up wasn't supposed to be available until 1919. How did he get it this early?  
Carlisle noticed my stare.  
''Isn't it beautiful? It's brand new.'' He said and patted the car. Obviously we shared the passion for cars. I smiled to him. Next thing he said, surprised me. I didn't hear it in his thoughts. Well, I wasn't even listening. I wasn't used to it, and I was trying to tune the voices out, unsuccessfully.  
''Would you like to drive?''  
I smiled again, this time even wider. He would let me drive! But then I remembered that I didn't know how. My smile faded.  
''I don't know how.''  
''I'll teach you some time. ´´He promised, and smiled. He seemed to be always smiling.  
__________

We were driving through the city. The wind was torturing me. It was blowing straight to my face thousand and thousands of the most delicious scents. My throat burned. Carlisle watched me and looked concerned. I tried to concentrate on his thoughts instead of the scents.  
_~He looks bad. It must hurt so much…I do remember my own first days…~  
_Then I got few flickers of those days. It was very interesting, but when he was remembering his own pain, it doubled mine, and I grimaced. He moved quickly to next topic, when he saw that. And it wasn't a silent drive. He was talking so much. It was mildly irritating, but I didn't say anything. I understood why he was so talkative. He had been alone so long. Only talking to his colleagues and patients. Never able to tell to anyone, who he really was. I started to listen to his thoughts again.  
_~I'm so happy to have a company...Hey...That man is going to…Oh! Blood!~_

A man nearby had fallen badly down the stairs. Carlisle probably turned to me, but he was too late. I was already out of the car, running towards the man, only thinking of one thing: Blood!  
It wasn't me who was running to that man, going to kill him. It felt like I was out off my own body, watching when the devil took the control.  
I didn't have the chance to even touch the poor man. Something rock hard slammed into me just a millisecond before. Another vampire! He was going to steal my prey! I struggled against he hold of the man, and growled. That growl brought me back to my body. Was it really me, who did that sound? I stopped squirming, and realised that it was Carlisle who was holding me. His thoughts were screaming, but his voice was calm.  
''Edward? Are you sane again?''  
''Yes. Let me go…''  
He did not let me go, but let me stand up, and took a firm hold on my arm.  
''Hold your breath.''  
He said simply and started to walk back to the car. I obeyed him and held my breath. I was shocked, disappointed at myself. I had disappointed Carlisle. This made me feel even worse. It was a strange feeling. I'd known him only few hours, and already I didn't want to disappoint him.

_~I should have known this would happen…He is not me, and I should have been more careful…I'm disappointed at myself…Next time, if it will come, I'll be ready…~  
_After I had heard this thought, I was even more shocked. He was punishing himself about this. It was my fault!  
''Carlisle, don't. It was my fault.''  
He didn't say anything, just smiled politely. But I heard more in his thoughts.  
_~No…It was my entire fault. I should have mentioned about the possible reaction…Order him to hold his breath while we are inside the city…~  
_I snarled in frustration at his self-blaming thoughts and sulked silently the rest of the journey.

We arrived to the road which was going through the forest. Carlisle parked the car to the side of the road, and we carried it a little deeper, and covered it. I was amazed by my strength, and I wasn't sulking anymore. When the car was covered, I looked at Carlisle questioningly.  
''What now?'' I asked. He thought his answer.  
_~Well, at first, you could try how fast you can run.~  
_He smiled, and I smiled triumphantly back at him. He nodded. I didn't hesitate, but started running as fast as I could. The feeling was exhilarating! And I could still see everything clearly! I laughed and pushed my legs to take even wider leaps, to go faster. I could hear Carlisle following me, but he was falling behind. I laughed again. I continued my run, but after a moment I couldn't hear Carlisle's thoughts anymore. There was a nothing. A silence in my head. It felt natural; the silence was that I was used to have. But at the same time it felt strange. I was already starting to get used to the constant hum of voices.  
I didn't have any time to panic, when his voice appeared again, and then he was standing in front of me. His eyes were wide.  
_~Wow, that was really fast, even for a newborn…~  
_I smiled at his mental comment. I was fast, even for a newborn? But then my thirst reminded itself, and I turned to Carlisle. He understood before I was able to speak out loud.  
''Just let your instincts rule. There's no humans nearby.''_  
_I did as he said. He let me lead the hunt.  
______

Afterwards I was all covered in blood and dirt. I watched myself in disgust. Carlisle was all clean, like he'd never even stepped in the forest. But he had thought everything. He handed me fresh clothes and I cleaned myself in a little river as well as I was able. Then we were able to leave and drive through the city without getting too much stares. My thirst was only tamed, but I could hold myself together. I didn't attack anybody this time.  
Back to Carlisle's house I collapsed to the bed, though I wasn't tired at all.  
''Carlisle, why I'm not tired? Is this a vampire thing?''  
''Yes, it is. We don't sleep. Welcome to my world. You're now a newborn.''  
And he smiled.  
____________________________________________________________________

_**A/N: Whew! I'd been writing this chapter for ages! Sorry this took so long. And the next chapter will come also later. I'm leaving to a camp today.  
Please, review, reviews are love!**_

_**Ps. About the Carlisle's Ford. I checked those things I wrote. Earlier models didn't have door for the driver, and they were started by using a crank handle. So Carlisle owns a very good car! **_ _  
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